Poetic Tragedies

I reaaaallly want to

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 03:43:45 +0100

Write my poetry again…

I think I have inspiration but I know its going to be a little dark…

I miss the old times. So many good memories, its about time to make new ones :)

<3

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 03:09:28 +0100

“The world pushes us without mercy, and when some push back, the world points and cries.. evil”

One of the greatest quotes and it comes from my childhood…

This world is fucked….

Went to the Doctors

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:02:17 +0100

They’re taking me off my meds slowly, they want to change my meds, and they’re also referring me to a mental health specialist…

I’m trying to stay positive, really wished I had addressed my problems a lot sooner. Buttttt..

I did manage the Doctors by myself =]

A conversation that made me click I've not actually been as big of a cunt I thought I had been -.-

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 05:54:25 +0100

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Dan Stone active now
See older messages…
Dan Stone
Gdgd dude just doing last minute check s for download lol are u coming to karls b day then
6 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
yeah - ive still not heard about my holiday - still a couple of weeks to winge and get it haha
6 hours ago
Dan Stone
Haha same I gota book it of tomorrow keep for getting but only got this week end left at work till go away so gota get it done
6 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
yeah I can imagine haha looking forward to download? im not going
6 hours ago
Dan Stone
Yer man absolutely buzzing got so much stuff to take its guna be like a hotel in me tent hahaha
6 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
haha! sounds awesome =]
6 hours ago
Dan Stone
What u been doing except work then man need a catch up init I know we have said it bout hundred times
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
it has been a while
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
Way to long dude
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
I stupidly split with Stacey last week
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
I know I heard through the vine tree why did u do that thought u were well into her
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
I am,
long story short?
I thought it was going nowhere, I let my own problems get in the way, was just being dumb to be honest
i should of spoke to her about my problems, i didn’t….dunno why, to be honest last few weeks my head has been thicked than mash potato
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
thicker*
hither??? huh?
shitter*
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
Man I know exactly were ya coming from the amount of times I messed up because of my own problems and not speaking to the person I should have been
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
if only people saw it that way mate haha
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
Yea dude but unfortunately think we make it worse for our selfs by pushing them away to the point that the original problem is no longer the big problem if ya know wat Im mumbling on bout lol
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
i do man - everyone is telling me to keep away to
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
Its a hard one man only u and stacey can sort it out as unfortunately in the world we live in every one has an opinion on things that dont bother them if ya really do want her and she means every think to her ya just gota find a way to open up to her no matter wat it is thats getting to ya or if ya think it will make u look bad/ weak its the only way to start to make bridges
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
i know bro - im not on about people saying for me to keep away from my end - her friends - ie skillen, satch, bid - theyre all telling me to keep away from her
its just a total mess mate =| but i hold my hands up and admit i messed up - at least i admit it
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
But as I said man its not their choice its up to u if she makes u happy thats all that matters ur friends will stick by you no matter wat I had to find that out the hard way and its turned out pretty well
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
i know that’s the way it usually works out, but tbh i cant see them talking to me again -
eurghhh
lmao - well im mean to be meeting up with Stacey at some point soon, i want to wait till after her exam which is tomorrow thankfully
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
Tell me to mind me own if to personal but wats actually happened then dude it sounds like u think its major
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Dan Stone
Yer probs best after the exam less stress init
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
i know mate
i was convinced it wasn’t working, i had been feeling it for a couple of weeks
while my feelings were up in the air,
but i thought - if i end it before she goes to Malaga, for a hen do, it will stop her looking forward to coming back to me -
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
i mean she goes away for 5 days, comes back looking forward to seeing me, then i end it that would of been worse - at least that’s what i was thinking
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
Have u told her all of this
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
and i wouldn’t want to string it out for more months because it would of been more messy
again, that’s what i thought
so i got her to meet me in the field 2 mins away from her house, so she wouldn’t drive (thinking that if she was enmotional, and driving that would be dangerous
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
dangerous)
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
So why is it that satch and all them telling u to stay away
I mean is it cause they are thinking of her or u
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
so i told her straight, what i was feeling, i don’t even know what the feeling was, just something wasn’t right
because i apparently fucked her over
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
which to be honest im not entirely sure how they came to that conclusion, i tried doing something right mate
i had satch and her mum come into my shop when i was working
i had a phone call from skillen saying “what was the one thing i told you not to do”
i sent a group message out to her friends saying
“im not looking for sympathy, forgiveness, or advice, not even a full blown convocation, i straight up want to know, if you want me to leave Stacey alone…i will
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
“
from satch
“did i not make myself clear last night? youre a waste of space, she deserves the world”
from bid
“i do think you should leave her alone, its not fair messing with her feelings again. shes got a lot on going on at the moment anyway, doesn’t deserve more shit to be added to it. do the sensible thing and stay away”
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
all i got from the others was skillen left the convosation
noonie doesn’t have whatsapp
i knew that i had messed up a few hours later
but theyre making me out to be the next fucking hitler
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
I understand man we all do things we regret when not thinking strait and if its been going round and round in ya head for a long period of time it can make ya feel almost mad so we end up doing the madest of things which seem like the best or nicest way to do it at the time
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
shes old enough to look after herself, make her own mistakes etc,
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
When all ya needed to do was talk it seems so nuts
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
i had a lot of time for every one in that group - but now im not sure why
i know - if only i had spoken to stacey
i forgot something
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
All women ever seem to go on bout is talking and it ends up that they were rite in the first place us as men are just stubon or dont wana seem weak
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
when i was talking to Stacey, i had to leave after 45 mins for work - apparentlyleaving Stacey to go to work - even though i offered to walk her back several times, made me a coward
i just don’t open up - not because i feel its weak - justy i don’t do it - never really have done unless its to a certain couple of people
its just silly little things aswell
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
Im the same man takes alot for me to open up I mean I could hand out advise and encourage ment all day long but dont really let any one it to way bothers or getting yo me I cant see why that lot are getting so involved fair enough she is a friend but as I have been with u man that’s all they should be doing its not fair to outcast some one and I can bet thay at some point all off them have been in similar situations and friends ment to stick together and be more grown up about it
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
a friend of satch’s is getting married in a few months and may of been short on limo fares because people had pulled out, i offered to put money towards it because it was someones special day, skillen - he use to come round every weekend to my old place, even during the week, if he need someone to chat to or fix his laptop i was there, bid - actually learnt the most about me out of all her friends, i actually told her some really deep personal things, i listened to her for at least an hour when ever i saw her at the party because i was genuinely interested in helping her with her problems
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
finally - someone who has sense -
so its not me being mad, selfish, pig ignorant etc? i mean if i wasn’t interested in Stacey, i woukldnt of helped her out in anyway, helped get things sorted for when her sister came out of hospital
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
I know man I mean there’s two people in a relationship so why pick a side if some think has gone wrong I think its best to get to the heart of the problem not just jump on the band wagon and point blame.
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
im not going to lie buddy - you’ve just put so much into perspective
5 hours ago
Daniel Booth
just me typing it out - im thinking wtf
5 hours ago
Dan Stone
I dont think ya mad ect dude I know stacey is special to ya other wise u wouldny be getting ya self so work up over it u obviously care about all off them and wat they think off you . I think its best u sort things out with Stacey first dont worry about any one else untill u and her are happy again and then when the others see that it was just a blip and and u two are happier and stronger for it they are can then come to u
5 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
to be honest im at the point already - if theyre going to act like that, and be closed minded - its not my loss really
holy shit - all i did was speak for 30 mins lmao
thanks man - even after any shit i put you through with amy - you’ve been a star — thank you =]
4 hours ago
Daniel Booth
i really do owe you a beer now =]
0r three haha
4 hours ago
Dan Stone
Its fine man im just tring to be a better person altogether it does help the fact I been in a very similar situation im glad u can see abit clearer I hope its taken a bit of weight of ya shoulders. Dont get ya self down man we all make mistakes and we dont always do the rite thing but that’s life
4 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
it really is
holy shit dude
4 hours ago
Daniel Booth
when are you free?
4 hours ago
Dan Stone
Errm well working days over the week end think im free sat night after that wont be till im bk from download on the 17th wat day do u work
Days
4 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
Only Friday and Saturdays, I’ve cut back on over time. Well when you’re back from download I’ll take you out for a couple
4 hours ago
Dan Stone
Sweet man ill hold ya to that lol and if ya lucky ill grab ya a lil sumthink from up there hahha
4 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
lmao!
anyway buddy - i need to crash - bloody exhausted
thanks again bro - you’ve been a saint!
4 hours ago
Dan Stone
Thats kl man same here got work at six in like 5 houre arrrrrrrrrr lmao xatxh ya soon I’ll drop u a msg when im bk and arrange sum think
4 hours ago · Sent from Messenger
Daniel Booth
sounds good bro
=] night buddy xx
4 hours ago
Dan Stone
Haha nite bud take it easy x
4 hours ago · Sent from Messenger

Sleeeeeep

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 19:07:29 +0100

Managing to sleep for Ling than hour or so intervals, problem is I’m sleep from 11am til 3pm :/

Bit the bullet

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 03:41:24 +0100

And phoned the doctor, try and find out what’s actually happening to me….going to ask for some sleeping tablets, maybe sleep through these horrible nights, but I don’t want to dream….not for a long time…

A solid week of good sleep would do me so good….

Just to add to the last post..

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 06:17:30 +0100

The time I told you to keep your mouth shut about Sarah, you blabbed your mouth to your fucking brother….I found out and I didn’t hold it against you….maybe I fucking should of…..I’m not even annoyed to be honest….I actually pity you….

I tried to do the right thing and shot myself in the foot

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 05:20:32 +0100

I’ve had a lot going on and managed to loose sight of other peoples problem,

I thought nothing was going to come from my latest relationship, I thought I would take it head on…

I met with her in the middle of the field, so she wouldn’t have to drive, I told her the reasons why I was splitting up, I didn’t think any love would come from this, I honestly thought manning up and speaking straight up would be the best action, don’t string it out, cut your loses, and reduce the pain,

Boy was I wrong, 8 hours later and I’m mortified in what I’ve done. Leaving her in the middle of the field where I had just split up with her, the only reason why I left was because I had work….and the only reason in a field was so she wouldn’t drive,

That parts I’ll hold my hands up to, but having her best friends mother and best friend come barging into my place of work, accusing me of being a coward for the way I did it, yes she was leaving that night for a holiday/hen do, but everything else that came out, things like I’m going to tell all of your friends what you’re like, everyone hates you, you’re a waste of space blah blah blah…..

Youre judging me?

Not by yourself as a group, with a single side of the story And you all have to show up or call when your drunk, to interrogate me, I can appreciate she is one of your closest but some of you should judge

1, Sleeping with your best mates little sister under his nose?
2, screwing your ex a few days before getting with your new gf, even though you where seeing her at the time and fucking your ex,
3, you cheated on your partner, humiliated him, and you cry because he’s not interested,
4, I only opened up properly to one member of that group because I could somewhat relate to her, and yet im still not even allowed to say my piece…

Yes her friends may hate me, (apparently a couple where my friends to) but again if they think like that…surely it may not all be my loss….

I know I want her back, but these same judgemental people who actually have no idea what’s actually going on inside myself say keep away from her….a few days and I’ll find out I guess,

On a plus note this is a good time for change….

And yes, I’ve spoken to myself about it….just as well I didn’t listen…

Stillllll

Fri, 24 May 2013 04:09:01 +0100

Dragging my feet in the fucking dirt!

It seems one of the few releases I have are the melodic singing of birds before I’ve slept!

At least its drowning the voice….

No more favors to people

Mon, 06 May 2013 01:11:57 +0100

Done, dusted, can’t be bothered, they and help but its always wrong, easy solution…..tell people to get fucked :|

Voices, flashbacks, I don't know

Sun, 05 May 2013 23:12:02 +0100

Please, just let me rest…

Who am I against

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:59:47 +0100

such weight on shoulders, forcing dragged feet in dirt, with bound arms in front, all answers questioned, even your existence, a distorted glimmer of hope, just a cruel hallucination, an unreachable goal…

Just some random words, I’m so tired now, I promise myself I’ll make myself better, its like cancer eating away…..I can’t bear it any more,

I’ll hold my hands up, this existence I wasted at the moment, and the voices,

They’re back, I’m scared, I feel I’m fighting against the wind. An unseen force determined to push me down, to drown my shouts of help,

I feel so alone, so very alone….um afraid to ask for help, I just think next I won’t be so lucky…..

Sometimes, knowing the truth doesn't make it any easier to sleep at night...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 04:55:08 +0000

And still to this day i found out that the apparent trust between people you accepted as family destroyed via no respect, my sister, raped, underage….by someone so fucking close to me, the things i want to do to you, carving my name into your chest with the crimes you have commuted, and the police say because you’ve had a bad fucking upbringing it makes it OK, enough is enough now, these thoughts, nightmares and numbness wont be holding on to me for to much longer, because sof you and the apparent justice system, failing, you wonder why things are taken into ones own hands to be sorted….you best start living bow boy…your days are numbered….

there isnt any justice...

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 22:08:21 +0000

A rapist paedophile….gets a slap on the wrist…what is this world coming to?

Bring back hangings….

.....

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 01:10:28 +0000

Things aren’t bad, in fact there far from yet here I am crying writing this down, I’ve been lucky enough to meet such an amazing person, with things going so well yet I feel emotionally detached from everyone, medication feels like it no longer works, I have been distant to so many people and I have no idea why, I’m.in a rut where all I can think about is carving pretty little pictures into people I hate,…..including myself…

I.don’t want this sense of belonging no where, just as I thought I had made progress I just want to dig my future hole, lay in it and wait for my last breath…

Someone new walked into my life which I thought was my turning point.She amazing

And here i am winging about non important bullshit…what the fuck happened to me

Maybe I should of stayed ruthless…

so freaking nervousssss

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 13:55:00 +0000

I really want to make a good impression but again I’m losttttt, …..got her coming over tomorrow and I’m so excited :/

What the hell has come over me in the last 3 months o.O

So nervous I actually feel Ill :/ what the actual fuck…..

Good feelings with shakes……fml

getting so annoyed and pissed off

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 02:24:47 +0000

I don’t even know whats happening anymore, I’m letting silly things get to me, important things aren’t on my to do list BUT….

New years eve was great! Met this amazing girl :3 she pretty, and funny, and wow….we kissed a load of times, held hands and it was really nice :D I enjoyed her company so.much and I’m seeing her again on Sunday…hahaha
So nervous, I just don’t want to let my defence down and get hurt again o.O but I AM going to cease this oppertunity :D

On another note, Xmas and new years was spent with my family which was really nice

2012 was a fuck
ing nasty year….2013 is going to be my year! Got my new place, my new job and maybe more….I really hope so

Xmas day

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 19:28:21 +0000

Even though as much as I hate it. It was nice to chill with my family :D

I don’t know what I do without these guys

Strangeeeee day

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 03:51:52 +0000

Sooooo….. I randomly text T for sone unknown reason saying life’s to short to stay annoyed at peoole, that I hope she was well and to have a nice Xmas, and that I couldn’t help think something was up, dunno why, but something big…..a reply said that her step nan had 24-48 hours to live…. spooky….but the real crazy thing is tonight is my last night in this shitty hell hole of a house, tomorrow is the first night in the new place….surrounded by 2 great mates……I’m not going to be alone anymore…..this makes me feel so much better :D also the world is meant to end today 22/12/2012…..and if it did I know at least I got to smile one last time :) knowing I beat this mindset in this house that very nearly became my crypt, I battled and I won….but only barely.

New house, new life, new scenery and a new chapter.

Let’s fucking roll!

Having a few special people to help is great...

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 00:54:08 +0000

I’m just fed up of meeting wrong people, people saying one thing and doing another in my books is wrong, I want to see the scars of live upon your chest so then I can show mine,

Its been a messed up couple if weeks, and I should feel like a total cunt but I don’t

I am sorry I don’t feel as guilty

Just another dirty little secret :|